⭐ Longarms Creations ⭐ We complete anything you need with the longest and strongest hands! ⭐ NOW HIRING AND OPEN TO ORDERS ⭐

LankyBox01

Updated Suggestion:
1 strike - You have to appeal.
2 strikes - You have appeal and complete at least 2 orders.
3 strikes - You have to appeal and complete at least 5 orders.
4 strikes - you get fired, but can still get hired back (But you still remain with 4 strikes)
5 strikes - Termination (Banned forever, cannot appeal, can't get rehired)

itschaoticcrazycat

mtech22 wrote:
itschaoticcrazycat wrote:
SNIP
I'm not sure I quite understand…

Let's go deeper then. To lose 3 strikes, complete 4 orders within 3 days after it was ordered OR work twice as hard as you normally do for 3 weeks (if you need to go on leave during that time, your 3 week period will continue from where it was). To lose 2 strikes, complete a difficult order with 4 days to spare. To lose 1 strike, complete any order and get 7/10, 8/10, 9/10, 10/10 or anything more than that on a review. If you are still confused, I'll try to make it less confusing.

LankyBox01

itschaoticcrazycat wrote:
mtech22 wrote:
itschaoticcrazycat wrote:
SNIP
I'm not sure I quite understand…
Let's go deeper then. To lose 3 strikes, complete 4 orders within 3 days after it was ordered OR work twice as hard as you normally do for 3 weeks

What if there are no orders?
How are you gonna work without orders?
What if you need more personal time?

itschaoticcrazycat

LankyBox01 wrote:
itschaoticcrazycat wrote:
mtech22 wrote:
itschaoticcrazycat wrote:
SNIP
I'm not sure I quite understand…
Let's go deeper then. To lose 3 strikes, complete 4 orders within 3 days after it was ordered OR work twice as hard as you normally do for 3 weeks
What if there are no orders?
How are you gonna work without orders?
What if you need more personal time?

Good point.

LankyBox01

Strikes & Appeals
1 strike - You have to appeal.
2 strikes - You have to complete at least 2 orders, and appeal
3 strikes - 1-Month temporary ban, can appeal to shorten amount of ban time
4 strikes - 3-Month temporary ban, cannot appeal
5 strikes - Banned permanently, cannot appeal, can't get rehired

Appealing - Just fill out the form below. And so we know you read this, please enter "Jk,72a,b12s,Opl1" at the end of your post.

Appeal Form
Reason for strike:
Why should it be removed:
Have you fully read the Terms & Conditions before appealing:
Other:

This hasn't been implemented yet; it would become official when it gets implemented

Last edited by LankyBox01 (Aug. 6, 2020 16:39:21)

ContourLines

LankyBox01 wrote:
Strikes & Appeals
1 strike - You have to appeal.
2 strikes - You have appeal and complete at least 2 orders.
3 strikes - You have to appeal and complete at least 5 orders.
4 strikes - you get fired, but can still get hired back (But you still remain with 4 strikes)
5 strikes - Termination (Banned forever, cannot appeal, can't get rehired)

Appealing - quote this post and say why you got a strike, why you want to get rid of it, and promise that you won't do it again. And so we know you read this, please enter "Jk,72a,b12s,Opl1" at the end of your post.

This hasn't been implemented yet; it would become official when it gets implemented

Hmmm… it's an idea but the order part seems irrelevant. Also, I believe if you get fired then you can't really reapply. I'll ask nammy to add it to the poll jumble.

LankyBox01

ContourLines wrote:
LankyBox01 wrote:
Strikes & Appeals
1 strike - You have to appeal.
2 strikes - You have appeal and complete at least 2 orders.
3 strikes - You have to appeal and complete at least 5 orders.
4 strikes - you get fired, but can still get hired back (But you still remain with 4 strikes)
5 strikes - Termination (Banned forever, cannot appeal, can't get rehired)

Appealing - quote this post and say why you got a strike, why you want to get rid of it, and promise that you won't do it again. And so we know you read this, please enter "Jk,72a,b12s,Opl1" at the end of your post.

This hasn't been implemented yet; it would become official when it gets implemented
Hmmm… it's an idea but the order part seems irrelevant. Also, I believe if you get fired then you can't really reapply. I'll ask nammy to add it to the poll jumble.

No.
I don't like that idea.
I think strike 5 will result in “Not allowed to apply anymore”

ContourLines

LankyBox01 wrote:
~snip~
No.
I don't like that idea.
I think strike 5 will result in “Not allowed to apply anymore”

Idk, it kinda makes things more complex. Maybe, 4 strikes = 6 month ban, if you get another 4 strikes after that ban once you reapply then your fired for good. Appeals are necessary and do need to be added, however…

LankyBox01

ContourLines wrote:
LankyBox01 wrote:
~snip~
No.
I don't like that idea.
I think strike 5 will result in “Not allowed to apply anymore”
Idk, it kinda makes things more complex. Maybe, 4 strikes = 6 month ban, if you get another 4 strikes after that ban once you reapply then your fired for good. Appeals are necessary and do need to be added, however…

DUDE NICE IDEA

LankyBox01

ContourLines wrote:
LankyBox01 wrote:
~snip~
No.
I don't like that idea.
I think strike 5 will result in “Not allowed to apply anymore”
Idk, it kinda makes things more complex. Maybe, 4 strikes = 6 month ban, if you get another 4 strikes after that ban once you reapply then your fired for good. Appeals are necessary and do need to be added, however…

Updated:

LankyBox01 wrote:
Strikes & Appeals
1 strike - You have to appeal.
2 strikes - You have to complete at least 2 orders, and appeal
3 strikes - 1-Month temporary ban, can appeal to shorten amount of ban time
4 strikes - 3-Month temporary ban, cannot appeal
5 strikes - Banned permanently, cannot appeal, can't get rehired

Appealing - quote this post and say why you got a strike, why you want to get rid of it, and promise that you won't do it again. And so we know you read this, please enter "Jk,72a,b12s,Opl1" at the end of your post.

This hasn't been implemented yet; it would become official when it gets implemented

PrincessFlowerTV

Username: PrincessFlowerTV
What type of thing do you need: Writing review/critique
Describe what you need created: Some critiques, tips, thoughts, etc. Just let me know of anything that might need improvement. It's the first paragraph of a book that i'm writing.
Date: 2001
It all started last spring. Aunt Jenny, who’s famous for telling exaggerated stories, stood in front of the family, one family-reunion ago. My Aunt told us the story of her expedition to find vintage photos for a project. Aunt Jenny had gone to the attic, where she guessed they were stored. And, apparently, she was unable to retrieve the albums. She explained to us that she was beaten over the head with a candlestick that knocked her out cold. Then, she was dragged out into the hallway, and left there with a lump the size of an orange on her crown. Aunt Jenny had nightmares about it for weeks afterwards.
Of course, no one had believed Jenny; who could believe such a fantastic tale like that?
She was told later by Uncle Gary, who was a psychiatrist by practice, that she could get the family rate. He told her that he could easily walk through the experience to get over the hallucination. But Jenny had insisted it was nothing of the sort.
The family had mostly forgotten about it afterwards, and so did I.
Deadline (please use dd/mm/yyyy): 20/06/2020
Have you read section 1 of the Terms and Conditions: coronavirus should leave this earth
Are you following the discussion: Yes.
Additional notes: You can simply quote my post with your review on this topic.

ContourLines

LankyBox01 wrote:
ContourLines wrote:
LankyBox01 wrote:
~snip~
No.
I don't like that idea.
I think strike 5 will result in “Not allowed to apply anymore”
Idk, it kinda makes things more complex. Maybe, 4 strikes = 6 month ban, if you get another 4 strikes after that ban once you reapply then your fired for good. Appeals are necessary and do need to be added, however…
DUDE NICE IDEA

Okay, revised striking system:

1 strike:
Can be appealed for to be removed
2 strikes:
Can be appealed for one to be removed
3 strikes:
Can be appealed for one to be removed
4 strikes:
6 month ban from shop
4 strikes after ban expiration:
Permanent ban

Appeal Form
Reason for strike:
Why should it be removed:
Have you fully read the Terms & Conditions before appealing:
Other:

Note: Nothing is official, this is still a suggestion

ContourLines

PrincessFlowerTV wrote:
Username: PrincessFlowerTV
What type of thing do you need: Writing review/critique
~snip~

Taken

Voxalice

Nambaseking01 wrote:
Hey, @Voxalice! As part of our new feature (the Preferred Services idea - more info can be found here: https://scratch-mit-edu.ezproxy.canberra.edu.au/discuss/topic/426122/?page=2#post-4265725), we would like to know which services you're a specialist at and which you're just doing because you know some things about them but you're not a professional in Longarms Creations. Please respond as soon as possible - and thank you!

Preferred Services (i.e. I am a specialist in:)

HTML
CSS
JS

I already work in:

HTML
CSS
JS

LankyBox01

i say, you made the appeal form, i made the strike punishments
From vice president to vice president XD

garnet-chan

Username: look at the post, ok?
Who finished your order: Nambaseking01
How much would you rate your order on a scale of 10: 7/10
Was your order finished within the deadline: Yes
Describe your general thoughts here: I have yet to receive any people from my order, but good overall.
Do you think you will return to this shop: I don't usually go in Requests, so probably not.
Additional notes: N/A

ContourLines

PrincessFlowerTV wrote:
Username: PrincessFlowerTV
What type of thing do you need: Writing review/critique
Describe what you need created: Some critiques, tips, thoughts, etc. Just let me know of anything that might need improvement. It's the first paragraph of a book that i'm writing.
Date: 2001
It all started last spring. Aunt Jenny, who’s famous for telling exaggerated stories, stood in front of the family, one family-reunion ago. My Aunt told us the story of her expedition to find vintage photos for a project. Aunt Jenny had gone to the attic, where she guessed they were stored. And, apparently, she was unable to retrieve the albums. She explained to us that she was beaten over the head with a candlestick that knocked her out cold. Then, she was dragged out into the hallway, and left there with a lump the size of an orange on her crown. Aunt Jenny had nightmares about it for weeks afterwards.
Of course, no one had believed Jenny; who could believe such a fantastic tale like that?
She was told later by Uncle Gary, who was a psychiatrist by practice, that she could get the family rate. He told her that he could easily walk through the experience to get over the hallucination. But Jenny had insisted it was nothing of the sort.
The family had mostly forgotten about it afterwards, and so did I.
Deadline (please use dd/mm/yyyy): 20/06/2020
Have you read section 1 of the Terms and Conditions: coronavirus should leave this earth
Are you following the discussion: Yes.
Additional notes: You can simply quote my post with your review on this topic.

First Thoughts
It is a well written first paragraph! I enjoyed reading it and you have given yourself quite a good storyline to build from. It is also good to of addressed the traits of some of the characters, such as: ‘Aunt Jenny is famous for telling exaggerated stories.’ The amount of content is just right! It doesn't consist of basic, simple sentences and not of long sentences with unnecessary words!
Technical Aspects
Everything is well laid out and generally structured nicely. There is only one small grammatical mistake that I can spot, ‘My Aunt’ should be ‘My aunt’. There is good vocabulary usage as well as nice descriptions to add to the paragraph!
Some ideas to improve
As you've started the story in first person, an introduction to who the narrator of this paragraph is would be an idea for the next paragraph. A small amount of rephrasing could benefit the paragraph, ‘one family reunion ago’ might sound better as ‘last family reunion’. Other than that, everything seems pretty good!
Summary
What a great start to this story! It introduces the storyline and some main characters, backed up by some good grammar, phrasing and vocabulary! I hope that this review has helped and Longarms Creations will always be here if you ever want to come again!
If you want to, we'd love to see what you thought of your order! Please use the review form if you wish to do so…

itschaoticcrazycat

Username: itschaoticcrazycat
What type of thing do you need: Writing review (first chapter only. Don't worry, since it's the first chapter, it's short).
Describe what you need created: I'm working on a manga series (will soon be turned into proper comic/book), and I need a review on it. Please don't go too harsh. Reward: Just click on me! This is your chance to get an extra follower. Reward: An extra 2 stars on the review.

Chapter 1: The Invitation

I woke up this morning, feeling half-alive. Partly because someone stuck a letter on my face. I opened it. It read:
Dear Master Machi Tetsuya,
Recently you were re-homed to a new address. This is because you were accepted into Skypoint Academy of Mystical beings. For the meeting, tell no one and leave at the crack of dusk tomorrow. You will travel via our academic aeroplane.
Mr Izuko Hariadmya, School Principal.
I went downstairs to get ready to leave. I flew out the window without a trace. Hopefully my parents don’t find out. I then saw a bus stop and it was marked: PLEASE INSERT INVITATION. I inserted mine. Within a blink of an eye, maybe faster, I was somewhere else; somewhere I may never forget.

Last edited by itschaoticcrazycat (Aug. 6, 2020 17:03:39)

itschaoticcrazycat

(deleted by iccc, accidental spam)

Last edited by itschaoticcrazycat (Aug. 6, 2020 17:04:43)

PrincessFlowerTV

ContourLines wrote:
-sniped-

Awesome, thank you!! This is very helpful.

I will definitely use this advice.

Here's my customer review.

Username: @PrincessFlowerTV
Who finished your order: @ContourLines
How much would you rate your order on a scale of 10: 10/10
Was your order finished within the deadline: Yes, in fact, it was completed on the first day!
Describe your general thoughts here: I am very impressed with the service, speed, and excellence. The review was helpful, constructive, and kind.
Do you think you will return to this shop: Yes, I think I will.
Additional notes: This is a fantastic shop. Thank you ContourLines!

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